Makan?

It has become a part of my daily life, smsing friends everyday to ask them to eat together with me.
But sadly, since I did it from the start of the new semester, not even once they reply and say: "Ok, let's eat together..."
Can u imagine a person lost his appetite not because the food is too bad to swallow, or the environment is too bad to coop with, but because he has no one he can eat together with?

My wish for the new semester is to have friends to eat together with me everyday, so pathetic, yet so truthful.
The fact hurts that I've become like an alien here in UTP, asking people as if I'm begging them to eat together with me, and yet no one did so...
Below are a few people that I often sms them and always get back the same reply:

Y. Y.: "Got class..."
~ Seems like the ICT students memang busy.. everytime I message sure got class, kesian nya...

Jui Boon: "Eat ady..." or "I'm outside nw, want 'tapao'?"
~ I can't complain much about him lah, since he did asked me whether I want to 'tapao' or not, so I eat quite a lot of his 'tapao' but never actually hang out with him a lot...

T. P. H.: " "
~ I don't know what to write, because this fellow never replies me.. I don't know where he bought his handphone, but my sms never reach to him. Whenever I pm him, he'll like: "Huh? Ya ah? I never receive ur msg leh..." Haih... go change ur phone lah, Tee...

J. Z. - I never ask him to makan, but I did asked him to call me whenever he wants to go for sports, and he never did.. Can't blame him also, PE students memang busy...

Philip: "I got class lah later..." or "I don't want to eat lah nw, got work to do..."
~ I try to avoid talking about this guy as much as I can... I used to treat him as my best friend here in UTP, but the truth proved that he simply doesn't care. I know he also tired of all my complains and 'lectures', so I'll just leave him be lah...

I don't know why I became like this...
I know there must be something wrong with me, but I never figured out why.
There's one time when I went for dinner and met my friends eating there also, so I sat down together with them.
Through out the dinner, the only thing I said was:
"粉肠，吃饭没叫我..", and that's it...
No words came out of my mouth after that, as if they are all strangers. They talked among themselves, as if I'm a stranger too.
These people I considered them closest to me in the whole university, and yet it turned out like this.
It affected me so much that I couldn't sleep that night, repeatedly thinking about that incident.
How I could ended up like this? If it was 3 years ago, I could never imagine that I will one day become so pathetic, so desperate, feeling so lonely and so hopeless.


However, there are some people here that really cares about me, and for that I'm grateful.
Here also I want to specially list out and thank these people for their caring and concern:

My 'mates' (roommate and coursemate): Adi, Reza, Azlan...
Now I always hang out with them after classes, and it's really fun to mix around with them, feels like I'm half a Malay already... =p

COP church members - whenever I posted a sad or negative caption, they will pm and ask me how's my life and everything. God bless u guys.
Especially my senior - Jesse, who took his time after prayer meet to come visit me and listen to my story.
I was surprised, but it was nice to have someone visit me. Thanks..

Serena, Henry, Joel - the few people in UTP who, when sees me eating alone, will stop by to chat a word or two with this 'old man'.. Thanks, juniors.. (^_^)

Mei Le - ajak me makan the first time I posted up my wish of having friends to eat together, but never did go out to eat until recently, which was a very awkward one...
Girl, next time please let me know if u're inviting someone else, so that I can be more prepared, ok?

Jing Ming - I never really did ajak him for makan, neither did he ajak me, but everytime we meet he'll ask: "eat ady?", and it warms me up even a little.. Thanks, bro.. =)

Last but not least, the new friends I made: Chee Hui, Hui Lin, Wan Sin, Joon Heng, Hui Shiong, Xiao Han...
Thank you, knowing u all really makes my life a lot happier, especially that Chee Hui, although he did make me very angry once... >_<

Studying in UTP is definitely a big turning point in my life.
All these years, it teaches me how to live alone, to eat alone, and the most importantly, to survive alone.
I'm no longer the boy who clutch to his family, to his friends, but a guy who can stand alone, with or without anyone else.
Thank you UTP, u are such a great place..